Always
by Emma CS Me
Summary: You know, I'll never stop loving you. Never ever. [angsty songfic. Spoilers. Rated for character death which was only implied in the book]


**Always**

A/N: Fwahaha... I used to really hate this pairing. Then I reread TAA and now I really like it. So... Enjoy. D

Disclaimer: ASOUE is not in any way mine. It is Daniel Handler's. Nor is the song "Always," mine. That's Bon Jovi's.**  
**

_This romeo is bleeding  
But you can't see his blood _

Dear Violet,

Violet? I feel... This is a bit silly, addressing you inside my head where you weren't get the message. Do I even want you to get the message?

More importantly, what's the message?

_  
It's nothing but some feelings  
That this old dog kicked up _

Falling in love with you was a dumb idea; I'm the first one to admit it. But... When I saw you standing all confused and alone, I just... fell. Never believed in love at first sight until that moment, hey? I invited you (and your siblings) over to our table-- You befriended Isadora and I so well. But... Never was and never will by something more; right?

_It's been raining since you left me   
Now I'm drowning in the flood _

Ah, you see, I was an idiot and never told you how I felt. I guess it's too much to hope that at least at that time you would've loved me back... But you know, I can't sleep at night because of you, and who your with. No-one ever lists insomnia as a symptom of lovesickness. Well, true, no-one's ever written a book on lovesickness (that I've heard of). Maybe I'll do that one day? I definitely have first-hand experience.

_  
You see I've always been a fighter  
But without you I give up _

Dear Lord, I sound like a depressed, angsty, melodramatic, wrist-cutting stereotype. I just... can't really help it when I think of you, Violet. You're driving me crazy. If they send me to the asylum, expect to be blamed.

_I can't sing a love song  
Like the way it's meant to be_

Would I be able to face you again, knowing that your with my brother??? I desperately want to see your pretty face again, but I feel I may end up dying. This is causing so much anxiety. I think anxiety's another symptom of lovesickness.

_  
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore  
But baby, that's just me  
_

I'm nothing, you know? No wonder you chose Quigley over me. And I'm being depressed again. Well, the whole situation make me depressed. Times a billion ands three. I'll add depression to the symptoms list.

_  
And I will love you, baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day – Always_

You know, I'll never stop loving you. Never ever. And, if I find you're in trouble, I will always, always, always be there to take care of you. And I bet I've broken that vow and hundred and twenty-seven times, knowing my luck. I'm trying Violet; I really am.

_  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and   
The words don't rhyme _

Yes, but I'll will always be there for you, if only on the telephone, or, dare I say it, in your heart. I'll be the best friend I can be. That's all I can do, apart from not interfere with your happiness, and maybe I won't be able to help but do that.

Maybe I really want that...?

_  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you - Always _

I don't feel like telling you would be right, but yet... I feel like it would be. I think we were meant to be. Hey, who knows, maybe we still are? But the odds are 8674 million to one. Yes I did conjure that first number at random.

I'm in complete reverie now due to this random internal monologue addressed to someone who's probably 50 thousand and twelve miles away. I think I'll go get a piece of paper and write this all down; I'll send it once we get to land.

_Now your pictures that you left behind  
Are just memories of a different life_

I wrote all my thoughts down; yes I've been recording them all in my head. Back off. I've also got this waterproof pocket. Heh. I still remember the time we spent at Prufrock Prep, writing notes through lessons and sharing whatever eating tools we had to for the day.

_  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry_

It wasn't exactly what I'd term as "fun" all the time-- we had times where the pain your were experiencing from SORE made me want to cry-- stupid as that sounds. Yet, there were some hilarious comments that made milk come out of my nose and-- god this is going to sound corny-- but when we discussed the "business plans" I think my heart warmed.

Okay, I've written at least 600 words by now, this is becoming a rather long letter. Hence why I'm on my second bit of paper.

_  
One that made you have to say goodbye _

I really regret never saying "I love you." I should've said it when being taken away by that car. Should've screamed it just after getting out of that herring statue (of all things to imprison us in. This gives strange signals about Olaf's mind), and I should've told the world it when you were dangling on that rope ladder.

_  
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair  
To touch your lips, to hold you near  
When you say your prayers try to understand   
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man  
_

Finding Quigley was a real double-edged sword for me; you know? It gave me back my brother but lost me the one I loved...

_  
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near _

Of all the things, he had to talk about you when Isadora and I first got reacquainted with him. And yes; he did mention that little cliff session. I think that my heart was completely, utterly, and totally annihilated at that point. I also felt a bit like punching Quigley's lights out, but I didn't.

_  
When he says the words you've been needing to hear  
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine _

God, do I wish I could be that one you loved; that one you'd kiss. Of course; it's not probable--- but I refuse to say not possible. I'm too stubborn.

_  
To say to you till the end of time_

_Yeah, I will love you baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day – Always_

I always have, and I always will be, here for you, Violet. If somehow your all alone, even if I die, my spirit will somehow be there with you. Not, of course, like I'm expecting to die any time soon, but you get the concept, no?

_If you told me to cry for you  
I could  
If you told me to die for you _

I would do anything for you. Anything. Take a bullet for you. Cry for you. Hell, I'd go to Antarctica 53 hundred times to get you ice cubes, if you asked, But you wouldn't, would you?

_  
I would  
Take a look at my face  
There's no price I won't pay  
To say these words to you _

And you know what? I'd gladly trade my life for you to love me. Seriously. I would.

_Well, there ain't no luck  
In these loaded dice  
But baby if you give me just one more try _

But through it all, though our separation, through Quigley, maybe there's...

_  
We can pack up our old dreams  
And our old lives  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines _

...still a chance? Maybe there's one more shot for us?

_And I will love you, baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always _

Oh god. We are sinking. We are going to die. You know, that doesn't scare me all that much: what scares me the most is the thought I'll never see you again in death.

_  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and   
The words don't rhyme _

I'll put this in the waterproof pocket, I'll hope one day it'll be found and given to you.

_  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind _

And remember this Violet Baudelaire: Even in spirit, I will love you...

_  
And I'll love you - Always _

...Always

_Duncan_

**This was found in the wreck of the Queequeg, when it sunk it killed all on board. Duncan Quagmire's letter was found, miraculously legible, under his corpse. Miss Baudelaire, who the letter is addressed to, is yet to be located.**

**Coroner R. Griffiths.**


End file.
